have relive images revive painful memories

This is not uncommon among surviving spouses. If and when you do have lighter moments, it is possible (though certainly not guaranteed) that you may feel some guilt. Try to do more of those things when you feel up to it. If this is true, it might be useful to take a look at what those things are and consider what has felt best. You commented that all you have done is sleep and cry since your husband’s passing, but you followed this up by saying, “at least, that is how it seems.” In reading your follow-up comment, I wondered if, as you were writing this, you realized that you actually have engaged in some other activities in the months since your husband’s death.

It is just too much to try to wrap your head around until it happens. I don’t think anyone can ever really be prepared for such a loss. It is also totally understandable losing a partner after 21 years of marriage is utterly devastating. Your anguish is palpable in your writing. I think I didn't want to believe it could happen. How do I move past this grief? How do I move on? I know I should have seen this coming, as he had gone downhill over the course of the previous two years, but I was woefully unprepared for this kind of loss. I just want him back! And yet I know he will never be back. I talk to him sometimes, all alone, but obviously I don't hear anything back. I ache for my husband every day, and I still reach for him at night, as I used to do when I would check on him.

Aside from my children and grandchildren, who have their own lives, I just don't know if life will ever have meaning for me again. I have family in the area, but I am sure I'm depressing company. I am nearing 70 now, and all I have done since he passed away is sleep and cry. He was my third marriage and, I'm sure, my last.

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Have relive images revive painful memories